I’ve started playing Fortnite again for the first time in about a year and a half, and for all my documented hatred of multiverse stuff, god help me, I’m having a good time. Thanks to the game’s Zero Build mode, I can finally compete with preteens who’ve been playing Minecraft for as long as they could use a computer. It’s the most fun I’ve had with a battle royale since the first couple of weeks of Apex Legends before everybody knew what they were doing. A big part of that is how much stuff there is in this game. There’s just so much to do, including the following:
- Tame a giant dog by jumping on its back and then ride it around the map
- Fight Darth Vader and get his lightsaber if you win
- Fly around the map like Spider-Man except Spider-Man isn’t actually in Fortnite anymore so it’s a generic grappling hook but it’s still really fun
- Play as several variants of LeBron James, including his Space Jam: A New Legacy appearance
- Enjoy a battle royale video game where your opponents don’t turn into a three story building when you fire at them in Zero Build mode
- Get in a big transparent hamster ball and ride it along a series of rails like a makeshift roller coaster
- Attach a cowcatcher to the front of a vehicle and use it to drive through buildings with impunity
- Play as one of the most ridiculous characters in comics history, “The Batman Who Laughs” (Jokerfied Batman)
- Camp out in a little tent to get your health back
- Hide from your enemies in a dumpster full of trash
- Be Blanka from Street Fighter but in a suit and sunglasses
- Wield a gun that just fires buzzsaws and can take apart whole buildings
- Get eaten by a shark
- Drive a speedboat through a race course
- Assemble an action figure character out of different parts like Sid, the true hero of Toy Story
- Play as a sentient, claymation ice cream cone
- Make Indiana Jones do Tiktok dances
- You can make Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones do Tiktok dances
- Pop culture is becoming a slurry of references but it’s kind of funny actually
